Light into Darkness
by starwarsfreak95
Summary: At the age of nine, Anakin Skywalker knowingly touches the Force for the first time. Every time thereafter when he touches the Force, it's something a little different. How does Anakin, and his perception of the Force, change as he grows older?


At the age of nine, Anakin Skywalker touched the Force knowingly for the first time. It was absolutely everything that Master Obi-Wan had made it out to be. It was warmth and light and love. It was the touch of his mother's hand on his face, it was the pride he saw in Master Qui-Gon's face, it was the cheers of his friends when he won the Boonta Classic, it was the smile in Padme's eyes when he spoke with her on the Naboo spacecraft. And slowly, ever so slowly, the stone Master Obi-Wan handed him began to rise.

At the age of sixteen, Anakin Skywalker touched the Force. He felt it light up his very soul. It was light and love and peace. It was the joy felt by his sentient ship. It was the wonder of a starship with all of its little quirks. It was the smile of the Queen of Naboo when she wove her way through his dreams. It was the calmness of his room in the Jedi Temple. It was the praise of his Master.

At the age of seventeen, Anakin Skywalker touched the force. It was the joy and shock of receiving his first apprentice. It was the brotherly instinct that protected her and destroyed those who caused her pain. It was the first time he noticed respect in her eyes when she looked at him. It was the joy of teaching the young Togruta how to discover her own lightsaber style.

At the age of twenty, Anakin Skywalker touched the Force. After ten years, it had never stopped bringing him joy. It was light and love and happiness. It was his mother's last smile, touching his face once more. It was Padme in his arms. It was the sheer joy of his first kiss with his wife. It was the pride in Master Obi-Wan's face when he was granted Knighthood.

At the age of twenty two, Anakin Skywalker touched the Force. It was one of the few sources of joy in his life. It was light and love and peace. It was his wife's relieved smile when he returned safe from a mission. It was the sheer joy he felt when he learned he was to be a father. It was the feeling of tiny feet against his palm under the skin of Padme's middle.

At the age of twenty two, Anakin Skywalker again touched the Force. It was no longer joy. It was darkness and death and destruction. It was the children falling under his lightsaber sending agony through the Force into his soul. It was the death of Padme under his own hands. It was the smell of his own burning flesh as he lost his remaining limbs. It was Obi-Wan's betrayal. It was the agony of simply breathing.

At the age of twenty four, Anakin Skywalker again touched the Force. It is betrayal and darkness and death. It was the agony of the Jedi protecting his child. It was the pain he inflicted on the orphan he stole. It was the dark plot to murder his 'master.' It was the moment his plan failed and his lightsaber tore through the boy's body to destroy the apprentice he acquired to replace his lost one.

At the age of thirty, Anakin Skywalker touched the Force. It is still betrayal, it is still pain. This time, it is his own betrayal and pain. It is the hurt he feels in the Force emanating from his grown Padawan. It is the knowledge that he must destroy her and the knowledge that there is still a piece of him that does not want to do so.

At the age of forty one, Anakin Skywalker touches the Force. He relishes in the darkness it brings him to hide his everlasting fear. He uses it to bolster his courage to do the thing that he needs so direly to do to truly complete his training: murder his master, the last person on this planet who cares for him.

At the age of forty two, Anakin Skywalker touches the Force. It is the only way he can find the truth of this information: he has a son. It is the pain and betrayal when his son rejects him. It is the anger that leads him to maim his own son to match his first maiming, taking his own lightsaber away from the boy. It is the tiny, tiny seed of light that his son unknowingly plants in his soul with his mother's stubbornness and love.

At the age of forty four, Anakin Skywalker touches the Force for the last time. One more time, it is love and bravery and hope. It is the promise of his wife's love and his master's esteem. It is the joy that silently blooms in his heart as he sees his daughter's face in his son's mind. It is the pain of knowing how he hurt and destroyed her adopted people. It is the suffering he endures for his children's sake, it is the quiet relief when he feels the death of the Emperor. It is the peace he emanates for his son. It is the happiness of knowing that his son and daughter have become better than he, and have worked to restore the galaxy to what their mother would have wanted. It is the pride he feels in his children, in his son. It is the last rush of the Force before it consumes his soul entirely.


End file.
